How You Can Overcome The Feelings of Guilt and Shame
No matter how you see it, guilt and shame are never good feelings or emotions to experience. Right now, you may feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel, but we can tell you that there is. Whether you feel guilty about a decision you made or ashamed of something you did in the past, not being able to control your guilt and shame can have major effects in your life. The good thing is that there are many ways to conquer these negative emotions and take control of your life once again. Here are a few tips to get you in a better headspace.
Knowing the difference: Guilt vs Shame
It is very important to understand that guilt and shame are not the same. In order to work through negative self-judgements and help you gain a more positive mindset; it is important to know the difference between the two emotions.
Guilt is that negative feeling of regret for something you perceive to be wrong relating to a specific action or offense. The severity of guilt depends on the person and each situation. A common example of guilt is: working too much and not spending enough time with your kids.
On the other hand, shame is a feeling that you give yourself of being unworthy, insufficient, or not enough of a person. It is often related to your self-esteem and how others perceive you. By understanding the two, you are already taking your first steps in the journey of recognizing how you can make this situation better, and finally putting those feelings behind you.
Understanding Where it Comes From
The next step in your journey is to gain clarity as to why you may be feeling this way and seeing the kind of impact it has in your life. Sometimes, you will find that your guilt and shame may not be as clear as you think. In order to dig a bit deeper into why you’re feeling these emotions you can ask yourself these questions:
• What do I feel guilty of?
• What did I do to feel ashamed?
• Why do I feel this way?
• What do I gain from this feeling?
• How does this hold me back from living my life?
Asking these questions should help you gain some clarity and figuring out if what you are feeling makes logical sense. This is different from emotional sense because we know that emotionally the feeling is negative. However, if we remove emotions from the picture, perhaps there is really nothing to be worried about.
Change Your Perspective
We always say, it all starts with changing your mindset. Perspective is everything and each individual has their own! Instead of feeling guilty and dwelling on the negative energy, shift your perspective to see guilt as an opportunity for you to re-assess and adjust your behavior moving forward. It’s a chance for you to learn from your mistakes and direct your life in a more positive path.
Take Control of your Life
You don’t have to feel like this dark cloud of guilt and shame is hovering over you anymore. Learn from these experiences, decide what you want in the future and make a plan for yourself so that you don’t make the same mistakes in the future. It may take some time to get in the habit of changing your mindset, and that is okay. Slowly training your mind to have happy and positive thoughts takes time, but with consistency you are sure to get there. These small daily actions are sure ways to help you take control of your life and actually see that light at the end of the tunnel that everyone is talking about.
Are shame and guilt hindering you from living your best life?
Let’s talk about it! Channel into Worcester Unity Radio Station WUTY 97.9 FM every Wednesdays at 5pm for our interactive radio show, Rising and Thriving with Armida. During our show, we will open up the lines so we can hear from YOU, and give live one-on one relationship guidance in any situation you may be going through. We encourage you to call in from 5PM - 6PM at 508-471-5265. All callers can remain anonymous. Let’s help you start living an empowered life, today!